A New Alliance
by Theives-of-the-goldfish
Summary: what will happen when Lupin, Fujiko, Goemon, and Jigen meet up with a hot new duo that not only can beat Lupin at his own game, but do it with much more style...well, you might just have to find out...rated pg13 for language and some possible lime scenes
1. Meeting the Mysterious Duo

Disclaimer.yeah.I don't own Lupin III.and if I did.all hell would break loose..go figure.that is just me! Pluss, Lupin wouldn't be so obsessed about that little whore.Fujiko.well, that is enough of me babbling on.thanks for listening.  
  
Just a forewarning, this is a joint effort.by yami kai and I ..and it will be posted under her name as well.I just couldn't take all of the credit for it.hehe! Oh yeah.this is also my first Lupin fanfic.so.here goes it.  
  
"The Kiba diamond," A tall woman, with perfectly groomed black hair stated seductively. "This is worth over one hundred million dollars. Now all that is left is to wait for Lupin."  
  
"Why do we have to wait for Lupin!? Cant we just cash it in right now!?" a small chilled questioned  
  
"Have patience Kai. You will understand once you see the look on his face, and the hole in his pride."  
  
"LUPIN! ER! GET BACK HERE!" they heard Zenigata announce, frustrated.  
  
"Sorry pops; I just cant do that; you know me!" Lupin laughed in response.  
  
"Always at the last minute.that is Lupin." Jigen entered the room, and the empty museum case caught his eye. Kai flipped on the light switch, revealing her accomplice lightly holding the Kiba diamond with the tips of her fingers. "What the hell!?"  
  
"Jigen.have you got it yet!?" Lupin questioned, laughing while running from Zenigata.  
  
"Lupin, I think you should come in here for a second." Jigen stated, almost frozen in amazement.  
  
"What is it Jigen!?" Lupin asked, skidding to a stop next to Jigen. "Holy Shit! Ya..ya..ya"  
  
"Ha! I have finally got you Lupin!" Zenigata screeched in a proud tone. "Wha.who the hell are you!?" just as Zenigata swung his hand cuffs, Lupin swayed, just missing them. The three stood there for what seemed like eternity, in amazement.  
  
"Wait, this must be a scam! Lupin reassured himself.  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of yourself Lupin." The mysterious woman stated.  
  
"Yeah, sure, and like a babe like you could beat me to the diamond.that is unless you are Fujiko."  
  
"Oh Lupin."  
  
"See, I knew t was you, Fuji-cakes!" He held his arms open to who he thought was his obsession.  
  
"Oh Lupin.that is where you are wrong. I am not Fujiko! Kai." Kai pulled Fujiko out of a nearby closet. "You can seriously confuse me with your little whore!? How amazingly pathetic!"  
  
"So who are you anyways!?" Lupin wondered out loud.  
  
"Kitaka."  
  
"Hum; Kitaka.that is all." Jigen said in a disbelieving tone.  
  
"That is all you need to know."  
  
Lupin lunged at Kitaka in an attempt to regain his stature as the world's number one thief. He re-gained his previous position, smirked then laughed.  
  
"He he! Maybe I am better than you thought, Kitaka." Lupin bragged. He opened his hand to view the diamond.  
  
"Oh really!?" Kitaka smirked, holding the diamond in everyone's line of sight. Lupin collapsed in defeat.  
  
And.that is chapter one.by Sesshoutsu.I hope you like it.and now I will hand it over to Kai 


	2. On the loose

Disclaimer: me no own lupin or jigen .....so don't sue all you will get is my pet rabid dust-bunnies!  
  
Hey Kai here! I'm sure your all wanting to know what happens to Lupin and the crew so here goes chapter 2 ENJOY!!!  
  
"Now was that really nessary Kitaka?!" a young girl by Kitaka's side questioned.  
  
"But it was so fun!",Kitaka repiled,"Beating the greatest theif at his own game"  
  
"You don't have to rub it in ya know" Lupin muttered not moving from his spot on the ground.  
  
"And just who are you twerp?",Jigen asked glancing at the child,"aren't you a bit young to be stealing?!"  
  
"I'm Kai",the girl retorted,"and I'm not little I'm 8!" she showed Jigen eight fingers and stuck her tonuge out at him.  
  
Jigen smirked, 'Mental note to self the little ones a spitfire',he thought to himself.  
  
"What's so funny?" Kai questioned glaring at the black-haired man  
  
"You amuse me kido, that's all"  
  
Kai grinned and walked up to Jigen,"So you think this is amusing too?!" She asked swiping Jigen's hat off his head and running off with it.  
  
"Hey!!",Jigen protested taking off after the girl,"That's my hat get your ass back here!!"  
  
"Well I see Jigen's made a new friend" Lupin said standing up and brushing himself off  
  
"Get back here Jigen!",Zenigata shouted chansing after Jigen who was still chasing after Kai,"I'm not letting any of you get away!!"  
  
Kitaka smirked,"And just where do you think your going Pops?",she asked pulling Zenigata's handcuffs out of his pocket and cuffing him to a big skeleton of a dinosaur,"Come on Lupin grab your whore and lets blow this popcile stand!!"  
  
Lupin nodded,"Right behid you!",he yelled grabbing Fujiko and following Kitaka out,"See ya around Pops!"  
  
"Er...Lupin get back here!!",Zenigata growled trying to break free, but only maganging to make the bones fall on top of him,"Damn you Lupin!!" he muttered under the bones  
  
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well....I guess that's it for now don't forget to leave a review*points to lil purple button that says GO* you gotta tell me what ya think! ^____^ *does her annyoing kid voice* KITAKA......IT'S YOUR TURN.........!!! ^_^ 


	3. Racetrack Gunman Rally

Hiya! It is me again.poor you!! You have to listen to another of my chapters.I promise it will kick ass.just as my other did.well, hopefully.bear with me if not.the rest is yet to come.  
  
Lupin awoke between both, his competition, and his obsession; Kitaka, and Fujiko. Immediately a perverted smirk smeared it's self all over his face. 'Hum, I wonder what happened here!? He, he!' Lupin thought to himself.  
  
Kitaka awoke from the sudden shift of the blanket. The first thing that she noticed was the pathetic look on Lupin's face.  
  
"Oh, dream on Lupin!" She stated. Kitaka stood up, and pulled her hair back into a hair tie. "Do you really think that I would stoop so low as to do that with you.as I said, dream on Lupin!" Lupin hunched over in a disappointed slouch. Noticing Fujiko sleeping on the other side of him, he regained his posture, and that all-too-familiar smirk over took his person. "Don't even get the idea Lupin."  
  
"Oh.you mean, I slept with two gorgeous women last night, and didn't get any action!? Damn, I must be loosing my touch!"  
  
~~"MRAHH!" Kai yawned, curled up to Jigen, still sporting his black hat.  
  
"What the.AHH!" Jigen jumped up, astonished. "What the hell is the annoying little shit doing here!?" Jigen's eyes grew, and now he was wide- awake. "Lupin!!! Make her leave!!" Jigen grasped his hat, but Kai just wouldn't let it go.  
  
"Grr! It is my hat damn it!" Kai screeched.  
  
"Lupin!" Jigen stomped his feat.  
  
"You know, when you do that, Jigen, you look like you are her age." Lupin stated, finally getting out of bed.  
  
"Oh, thanks a lot Lupin, you are really helping."  
  
"That's my job!" Lupin joked. Kitaka stood up, flipping a black overcoat over her left shoulder.  
  
"Kai, lets go." She stated, walking away. Kai did as she was told, Jigen's hat still placed crooked, on her head. She skipped happily at Kitaka's feet.  
  
"Wait, wait! You just got here! Where are you going!?" Lupin yelled frantically.  
  
"Why is it of any relevance to you Lupin? Do you have a new crush, or something?" Kitaka inferred.  
  
"Not at all; not in the least bit. I just want to know where you are going.just so you don't beat me there next time." Lupin reassured himself.  
  
"Keep telling yourself that Lupin." Kitaka and Kai walked off.  
  
~~"So, where are we going, Kitaka?"  
  
"The racetrack. I have a few payout safes to thieve. I am sure you are just dieing to go to see your little boyfriend as well."  
  
"My boyfriend.what do you mean by that!?"  
  
"Oh, you will see." Kitaka opened the door to a black '67 Shelby 500. She climbed in, as did Kai, then started it, and drove off.  
  
~~"so, you going to follow her Lupin!?" Jigen questioned  
  
"Follow.screw that! I am going to beat her there." Lupin replied.  
  
"do you even know where she is going Lupin?" Goemon wondered out loud.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
~~'Arlington Raceway'; a large sign stated, announcing the name of the racetrack that a black Ford F350 followed by a trailer, towing a black 'A Hobby' car.  
  
"Looks like we are finally there Kai." Kitaka excitedly mentioned.  
  
"Sad.this is truly sad Kitaka. Why must we return here every Saturday night!?"  
  
"It is an addiction, what can I say!?" Kitaka grinned ecstatically.  
  
"Not so fast!" A remotely familiar voice yelled from behind them.  
  
Kitaka and her assailant turned around quickly. "Oh, it is just Lupin's little whore."  
  
"Lupin's little whore!?.How dare you!? First you take him away from me and then.then you call me a whore!? BITCH!!" Fujiko pulled out a gun from her guarder, and shot at Kitaka. Kitaka dodged it smoothly with out the slightest bit of effort.  
  
"You really don't want to start a scene here Fujiko." Kitaka advised.  
  
"Too damn bad!" Fujiko took another shot.  
  
"What can I say, I warned you Fujiko." Kitaka whistled, and suddenly twenty people, bearing guns showed up out of nowhere.  
  
"BITCH! Kitaka, this is between you and I, make them leave."  
  
"Err, fine. Get out of here guys.." they did as they were told.  
  
"Draw your gun."  
  
"Gun. I don't have a gun.I don't even know how to shoot a gun." Kitaka looked innocent (for once)  
  
"Quit with the bull shit Kitaka"  
  
"Okay, fine, you forced me." Kitaka pulled out a fully automatic rifle from the large truck. She took one shot, and Fujiko dropped to the ground.  
  
Clapping came from the group of trees bordering the parking lot.  
  
"Congratulations, you beat the bitch." Jigen announced.  
  
"Where the hell did you come from Jigen!?" Kai questioned, excited.  
  
"Oh.no! Just leave me alone little girl!" By now, Kitaka, Goemon, and Lupin were all rolling on the ground, laughing so hard it hurt.  
  
There yah go.my chapter three.hehe! Pretty damn good eh!? Any flames, make sure you write Kitaka on the subject.Kai isn't all too great at taking flames.but I love 'em.sorry to all of you Fujiko fans.sorry, but I cant stand the ditz.But I LOVE LUPIN!!!!.Lupin is a stud.!!!! That he is!!! Well..i must be off..i will let Kai take over now.I will leave you to her now! Zowie! 860 words.wait.. now it is 865.hehe! 


	4. I'll Hide And You Seek

Hey what's up?! Kai here! and it appears from the last chapters intro Kitaka-chan's a bit full of herself ^^; lmfao! oh well that's the lovable Kitaka for ya! Well, here it is another chappie written by yours truly!^^ ~ENJOY!  
  
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"What the hell do you want kid?!",Jigen asked annoyed that the little girl seemed to follow him everywhere he went,"why do you hang around me so much?"  
  
Tears began to well up in Kai's eyes at the sound of Jigen's harsh words,"Why are you yelling at me?!",the child sobbed,"I just wanted a friend"  
  
Lupin glared at his friend,"Great going G-man",he stated,"you didn't have to go and make the poor kid cry!"  
  
Jigen suddenly felt gulity,"Well it's not like I ment to",he repiled bending down to give Kai a hug,"I'm sorry kido I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" he said swallowing his pride  
  
Kai sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve,"Really!!",the child asked looking hopeful,"so ya wanna be my friend?!"  
  
Jigen sighed,"Sure what the hell",he remarked standing up Kai took the opprituity to grasp his hand casing Lupin and kitaka to smirk and giggle.  
  
"Oh....that's SO cute!" Kitaka cooed  
  
"Yeah Jigen needs somebody to keep him in line"Lupin joked  
  
Jigen sweatdroped and glared at his friend,"Lupin if you know what's good for ya you'll shut your big mouth before I have to come over there and shut it for you!",he threatened  
  
"Would you two quit fighting and come on, otherwise we're going to miss the begining of the race" Kitaka said walking off twords the stands. But after about 10mins of watching Kai was bored and ready for something else.  
  
"Kitaka...",Kai wined while she sat on Jigen's lap sill wearing his hat over her long purple hair,"I'm bored...."  
  
Kitaka rolled her eyes at the child,"Yeah so what'd ya want me to do about it?!"  
  
"How bout we go play a game or somethin.."Jigen suggested taking Kai in the other driection,"What'd ya say kido?"  
  
"Yay!" Kai shouted happily  
  
"I'd better go to.",Goemon said getting up,"I don't think Jigen knows what he's getting himself into" and with that he walked off leaveing Kitaka and lupin alone.  
  
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"So what'd ya wanna do?" Jigen questioned  
  
"Let's play hide and seek! I'll hide and you seek" Kai laughed as she ran off in the other direction,"and no peaking!!"  
  
Jigen rolled his eyes,"I won't, just don't go to far okay"he said putting his hands over his eyes since he didn't have his hat to cover them.  
  
"What are you doing Jigen?!" Goemon questioned walking up  
  
Jigen peaked over his hand,"I'm playin hide and seek....what's it look like"  
  
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And I think I'll leave it at that......for now don't forget to leave a review if you wanna find out what happens next  
  
Ja ne! ~lil kai  
  
by the way Kitaka it's your turn!!! ^^; 


	5. Raceway Raid

.Kai kind of left you all alone.in a dark hole.it was a pathetic ending.sorry Kai! I promise that I wont do that to you.I might leave you a cliffhanger...but that is to be determined.well, here goes.this is Kitaka by the way...  
  
"So.Kitaka, we are all alone now." Lupin seductively smirked (or so he thought).  
  
"Oh, dream on Lupin!" Kitaka pushed him away. "I have something much larger, and greener on my mind."  
  
"Green!?" Lupin was puzzled.  
  
"Money.must I tell you everything!?"  
  
"Uhm." Lupin scratched his head. Kitaka simply shook her head. She grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the front of her truck.  
  
"See them," Kitaka pointed to a couple, the man with gray hair and a long mustache the woman, looked old, but could have been quite the heartbreaker in her time. "They are the owners of the track. Every race they have a race lotto. It gets as high as one hundred million dollars per race. It is illegal, yeah, but they take that gamble."  
  
"So you mean, that we could run off with it, and they wouldn't be able to tell the cops!?" Lupin pieced together the hints that Kitaka had dropped.  
  
"Not quite Lupin. They are more intelligent than that. They have a safe in the concession stand, of which supposedly holds a 10,000 dollar disaster relief fund."  
  
"They still couldn't get hardly any of it back though. What are you worried about?"  
  
"Once they find out who did it.well, lets just say they aren't gun-shy."  
  
"Sounds a little easy to just have ten thousand dollars sitting around in a safe at a racetrack."  
  
"That is exactly it. I have been there, and checked. There is no safe. They keep the money in a supply shed on the North side, of the front straight away. It is heavily guarded, and unlike almost anyone else, they don't have uniforms just lying around."  
  
"So how do we weasel our way through this one!?"  
  
"Oh, that is the easy part. We start by..."  
  
~~"Hi Brett. Not racing this year!? Why is that!?" Kitaka flirted with an official.  
  
"Uhm, no time." The boy said, shaking.  
  
"So what is in the shed!?" A little heavily guarded to be at a racetrack, wouldn't you say!?" Kitaka got closer to him. "I promise I wont tell anyone.  
  
"Ah." He put his hand on his head. "I haven't seen you here in a while." He stated, finally regaining his cool, suave attitude.  
  
"What a pathetic change in subject. You can do better than that." Kitaka Joked. WHACK!  
  
"Oh, c'mon Lupin! It was just getting interesting."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you will live through it."  
  
~~"Good after noon gentlemen!" Lupin stated, dressed in Brett's clothes, and might I add, he looked A LOT like him, even without the mask. A man blocked the entrance with his arm.  
  
"Forgetting something Brett!?"  
  
"Uhm, I don't know..."  
  
"Password."  
  
"Uhm, oh yeah.Kitaka, password!?"  
  
"Chicken" Kitaka whispered in response.  
  
"Chicken." Lupin repeated.  
  
"Err, fine." The guard backed off, and let Lupin enter the shed with his cart.  
  
"Hehe! That was easy enough." Lupin smirked, seeing the large amounts of money.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Kitaka stated, crawling out from the food cart. "Now we just have to get the money, and get the hell out of here."  
  
"Lupin! I am going to get you!" They heard Zenigata scream out.  
  
"Shit!" Kitaka, and Lupin stated, simultaneously. They could see Zenigata, and knew they were in deep shit now.  
  
Yeah.chicken is really inspirational.actually, I just asked my brother for a random word.and sadly.it was from a chicken pot pie.so we got a pass word, courtesy of my brother, and a chicken pot pie.but hey, I bet you would have never guessed..hehe! Cliffhanger. Not that that pathetic chapter got you going...but.hey!.that is okay! 


	6. Manners

Hiyas! everybodys favorite little hat stealing 8 yr old here! and she's just alittle pissed bout what kitaka said in the last chapter about her ending being patheic. So I have one thing to say it's your own damn fault miss Mary-sue!! You said I should write more and then it got all screwed up *pout* But I'm sure you didn't come all this way just to hear me rant so on with the fic! Jigen would you be a dear and say the disclaimer!  
  
Jigen: Why can't you?!  
  
Kai:*smiles innocently* I'll give your hat back ^^  
  
Jigen:*grumbles* Fine, the twerp and kitaka don't own Lupin or me......there no give me my hat!  
  
Kai:*grins and puts the hat on her head* Nope, sorry Jigen I had my fingers crosses *Jigen begans to chase Kai*  
  
Jigen:*Yelling and chasing after Kai* Give me my damn hat Kai!!!!!!  
  
Lupin:*sweatdrops* Let's just get on with this......  
  
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Jigen sighed, he hated hide and seek. He had been looking for a half an hour and still no sign of the twerp known as Kai and Goemon sure wasn't helping him in any, just sitting there sharpening his sword,"Kai...come out, come put where ever you are!" he shouted hopeing to get the child to come out of her hiding place. When suddenly he heard a comotion out in the distance and a shouting voice that sounded alot like Zenigata,'oh shit', he thought to himself.  
  
"LUPIN!!!!",Zenigata shouted,""you'd better get back here!!!"  
  
"I'd love to Pops!",Lupin shouted back,"but what would the gang do with out me?!"  
  
"Jigen...Goemon get the cars ready!!!!!",Kitaka shouted throwing the gunman her keys. Suddenly Kitaka stopped letting lupin pass her,"Jigen, where's Kai?!" she asked as he stared up the car while Goemon started Lupin's.  
  
"I have to friggen clue" was the gunman's responce  
  
"Well, we better find her and quick I dont think lupin can keep running from Pops forever",Kitaka said,"Kai...come out from where ever your hindin!!" hearing Kitaka's voice the child appeared from her hiding place.  
  
"Did I win Jigen-chan?!" Kai questioned running up to Jigen and Kitaka.  
  
"Ahh...ya you beat me,"Jigen replied picking up the child and hoping into Kitaka's car,"but right now we gotta go" Kitaka got in as well while Lupin jumped in with Goemon and the group sped off towords the hide out. Leaving Zengiata in the dust.  
  
"Damn you Lupin!!!" Zengiata shouted after them  
  
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"Gezz that was close!" Lupin commented as he walked into the hotel room  
  
"Too friggen close Lupin,"Jigen grumbled following the master of theives into the room. Kai followed the gunman close behind,"Just what the hell were you thinking man?!"  
  
"It was all Kitaka's idea," Lupin replied ploping himself on the couch,"but we did manage to get some money  
  
"As in how much?" Jigen questioned also sitting on the couch. Kai followed and climbed up to sit on his lap.  
  
"Only about 2,000 dollars,"Kitaka said grinning like an idiot pulling out wads of cash and setting them on the table,"So what do you think of that Daisuke?!"  
  
"Impressive" was all the gunman had to say. When suddenly Kitaka got a weird look on her face  
  
"What is it my lady Kitaka?!" Lupin questioned with a lopsided grin plastered in his face  
  
"There should be another 1,000 here" Kitaka replied looking at a sleepy Kai who was sitting on Jigen's lap,"Kai....empty your pocket"  
  
Kai lifted her head off the gunman's chest and gave Kitaka an innocent look,"What do you mean Kitaka-chan? I dont have anything"  
  
"Maleci...."Kitaka commanded crossing her arms  
  
Jigen raised his eyebrow as the child stuck out her tonuge and emptyed her pocket throwing the money on the table,"Awwwwww.....you never let me have any fun!",Kai complained pouting  
  
The black-haired girl smirked at the pouting child,"I know I'm horriable now empty your other pocket"  
  
Kai rolled her eyes,"damn you",she muttered pulling Jigen's gun out of her pocket and setting it on the table next to the money.  
  
Jigen's eyes widened as he snatched up his pricious gun back,"First my hat and now my gun! Didn't your friggen mom teach you any manners?!"  
  
Kai thought for a moment before answering,"Well, my Kaasan told me not to steal stuff too but, did I listen.......Hell No!" she smirked  
  
"See!",Kitaka exclaimed proudly,"she learns well!!", the three boy just sat there with their mouths wide open.  
  
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Kai: well that's the end of my chapter sorry it took so long guys  
  
Jigen:girls  
  
Yami Bakura:aliens  
  
Hiei:whatever you are  
  
Ryou:*sweatdrops* just please R/R ja ne! 


	7. mistrust, and obsession

Hiya!!! I am back again.I feel really, very bad for you! .and, If you haven't read it yet, you should all check out my newest story, torture, complete and utter torture.  
  
"Don't you find it just a little discerning that Kitaka is such a great thief, but WE have never heard anything about her until just a few weeks ago?" Goemon inferred. By now, the trio was alone in the hotel room, adjacent to Kitaka and Kai's.  
  
"Now that you mention it.what motif would she have to kill Fujiko, unless Fujiko found out a little more than Kitaka thought necessary?" Jigen added.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it guys, she is perfectly innocent." Lupin sighed in a dream state.  
  
"Damnit, Lupin, get a grip!! First Fujiko, and now you are obsessing over this wench!? Give me a friggen break!" Jigen yelled.  
  
"There is really no need to worry about me guys." Kitaka assured as she walked in the room after hearing the entire conversation. "You haven't heard of me because I kept my identity low key. I didn't want to be noticed."  
  
"Then how exactly is it that you can find out combinations, and open locks at the drop of a hat?" Jigen questioned, not exactly believing her excuse.  
  
"I haven't been trusted with a bobby pin since I was five years old Jigen. I used to look up to you guys; you were like idols to me. I just wanted to wait for the precise moment. I killed Fujiko because she was a baka; she was too close to the enemy. I couldn't stand how she would switch sides so constantly. I say that if you have friends at all, they should at least be loyal."  
  
"See, nothing to worry about guys." Lupin reassured them. Jigen and Goemon were still quite indecisive on the whole idea of Kitaka and Kai on their side. It was too perfect that it couldn't be real. There was no way in hell.  
  
"I still think she is up to something." Goemon uttered under his breath.  
  
"Well, if you still trust me enough to go on another heist. I will be in my room." Kitaka stated, heading to her room.  
  
"He, he! Me too!" Lupin exclaimed, following Kitaka.  
  
"Oh, no you don't Lupin." Jigen grasped his collar. "You 'aint goin nowhere!"  
  
"Oh, but Ji Ji!!"  
  
"No, and damnit Lupin, don't call me that!"  
  
"Ji Ji." Lupin busted out laughing.  
  
"That is not friggen funny Lupin!"  
  
"Oh, just ignore it Jigen, you know he is three sheets to the wind by now.." Goemon added.  
  
"Here, have another." Lupin continued his repetition of his new nickname for Jigen through out the night. ~~  
  
"GOD DAMNIT LUPIN! STOP IT!" Jigen screamed to his accomplice.  
  
"Ji-Ji, Ji-Ji!!!!!!"  
  
I kind of forgot to add any description to the characters like.. at all, so here I am.Kitaka.actually, it is a rip off of another picture that I found, but changed, so, if you find it, remember that that is probably the original.but I changed it.. you really cant see everything, so there is more too. Kay thanx!!!  
  
~~Kitaka 


	8. Jigen's Bedtime Story

Hiyas Reviewers! Everyones favorite Hat stealing 8 yr old here^_^ I feel bad for you guys.....you had to read that last chapter that had no plot what so ever:P Sorry Kitaka-sama no mean to diss it but there really wasn't much of a plot. But we still love her anyways....right guys?!  
  
Jigen:*raises eyebrow* We do?!  
  
Goemon:Well supposedly we do Jigen  
  
Kai:*sweatdrops* Be nice boys!  
  
Lupin:ahh....how bout we forget the nice part and start the fic instead?!  
  
Kai:*thinks* Sounds good to me.....ON WITH THE FIC!  
  
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"Ha! I win again!",Jigen announced laying down four aces on the table,"read'em and weep!"  
  
"How the hell do you keep doing that Jigen?",Lupin questioned pouting,"I haven't won one hand yet"  
  
"I'm just that damn good old buddy!" Jigen stated smirking tilting his hat up to see the look on his friend's face.  
  
"Oh shut up Ji-Ji!" Lupin muttered scowling  
  
"Damn it Lupin I tald you not to call me that firggen name!" The gunman growled glaring daggers at the gentlman thief.  
  
"From all the complaining over here I'd say Lupin lost" Kai said walking over to the table  
  
"Aren't you suppose to be in bed twerp?!" Lupin asked picking up the cards off the table.  
  
"I'm not a.....bit sleepy",Kai yawned rubbing her eyes,"Jigen will you read me a bed time story?"  
  
"ME?!",Jigen exclaimed pointing to himself in shock,"out of all the people why does it have to be figgen me?!"  
  
"Oh come on Ji-Ji",Lupin joked laughing his head off,"I'm sure it will be fun!"  
  
"You better shut up Lupin....if ya know whats good for ya" The gunman growled picking up the child and walking into the other bedroom.  
  
"Will you baka's keep it down?!",Kitaka growled poking her head out of her own bedroom door,"some poeple are ACTUALLY trying to get to sleep"  
  
"Trying being the key word" Goemon muttered looking up from sharping his sword  
  
"Aww....is my poor Kitaka-chan sleep deprived",Lupin cooed walking over to attempt to snuggel with the black-haired women, but instead of that he got a slap in his face," I don't think I deserved that, Lupin muttered holding his cheek in pain. Goemon just raised his eyebrow  
  
"Maybe that will teach you Arsene Lupin the Third",Kitaka said in a very grouchy tone of voice,"but I dout it!" and with that she slammed the door in his face.  
  
"Hey Lupin, remind me never to try waking her up in the morning" Geomon remarked  
  
"Do you guys mind?!",Jigen questioned poking his head out Kai's door,"I'm trying to get the little monster to bed!"  
  
Kai grinned and roared like the supposed monster she was,"Look at me!",she cried grabing onto the gunman's sleeve,"I'm a monster!"  
  
"Aww....that's cute"Lupin cooed as he started to laugh again  
  
"I told you to shut up lupin!",Jigen shouted,"And you....bed....NOW!" he said pointing to Kai  
  
"Fine!" Kai stated sticking her tounge out at Jigen and then walked back into her room and got into bed.  
  
"I'll be back to deal with you later mr-I-don't-know-when-to-shut-my-mouth" Jigen muttered eyeing Lupin and then walked into Kai's room.  
  
"Whatever Ji-Ji!"  
  
******************************  
  
"So what story are ya going to tell me Jigen?" Kai asked as Jigen tucked the covers around the child.(K/N-----isn't that just so cute for Jigen to do that?!)  
  
"Ahh...",Jigen studdered sitting at the edge of the bed,"I have no figgen clue so I guess I'll have to make it up as I go"  
  
"Okay",Kai said laying on her bed contently,"you can start when ever you want",the gunman just sat there for the longest time staring off into space.  
  
"Well......?!"  
  
"Ahh.." the gunman studdered again,"And just how dose one go about starting a story?!"  
  
Kai sweatdropped and practicly fell out of bed,"Well....it usually starts off 'once opon a time'"  
  
"Well I don't wanna start it out like that so we're going to use something different,"Jigen stated like he knew what he was doing(k/n: but he really doesn't^_^;;),"It's going to start out the heist before christmas"  
  
"But it's not christmas!" the child protested  
  
"Do you wanna hear the story or not?"  
  
"I do"Kai replied giving Jigen one of her innocent looks  
  
"Then shut up and let me tell it the!" the child stuck out her tonuge but remined silent  
  
"Alright now where was I?!,"Jigen muttered more to himself then to Kai,"Ah yea Twas' the heist before Christmas and all through the bank not a sound could be heard cept' the sound of a tranq"  
  
"Ah Jigen....what's tranq?!" Kai questioned interupting the gunman again  
  
Jigen shook his head at the child before answering,"Forget it Kido", he said staring at her,"and stop interupting me damn it!"  
  
"Sorry Jigen-Kun"  
  
"Now the guards had been shot and tied up with care while me and the idiot known as Lupin strolled right in there"  
  
"Lupin's in your story too?" Kai said giving a big yawn  
  
The gunman nodded and contuied,"They walk to safe some call it vault, dumped their tools down to being the assult. when out in the lobby there came such a clatter that me and the idiot sprang to see what was the matter." about a half an hour later, Jigen fisnished and Kai was sound asleep,"merry christmas to all and to all a good heist!"  
  
"Hey Jigen....what kind of a lame bedtime story is that?!" Kitaka questioned from the doorway of Kai's room  
  
"Eh' alot better then you could come up with I'm guessing" Jigen replied standing up  
  
"Oh well, it beats me having to tuck her in"  
  
"Whatever" Jigen muttered fallowing Kitaka out of Kai's room  
  
"Thanks Jigne for putting Kai to bed for me", Kitaka said kissing the gunman on the cheek,"Good night boys!" and with she walked into her room  
  
Jigen turned to see Lupin pouting on the couch,"What's your problem?", he asked  
  
"She Kissed you"  
  
"It ment nothing Lupin, gezz don't get your underwear in a bunch" Jigen protested  
  
"But.....but....she kissed you!!"  
  
*****************************  
  
Jack:*smirking*Ooh....you got kissed mate  
  
Kai:*looking lost*I thought Kitaka liked Lupin *notices Jack* JACK!!!!!*jumps on Jack's back*  
  
Jack:*looks at Kai* Oh hello Lov  
  
Lupin:*still pouting* I can't believe she kissed you!  
  
Jigen:Oh God man firggen get over it!  
  
Jack:You best read and review mate or I'll make you walk the plank!  
  
Kai:^______________^ 


	9. The whole bedtime story

~OKay everyone Here's the intire Jigen bedtime story for those of you that want to read it I just helped write it. This is mostly my girl Kitten's work ENJOY!  
  
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the bank  
  
Not a sound could be heard ..'cept the sound of a tranq The guards had been shot and tied up with care  
  
While Lupin and his posse strolled right into there The walked to the safe-some say a vault,  
  
Dump their tools down to begin the assault. When out in the lobby there came such a clatter  
  
That Lupin and Jigen sprang to see what was the matter. Away to the lobby they flew in a flash,  
  
To see who joined their little bash. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,  
  
Gave the luster of mid-day to the sight of Pops and the whoe!  
  
"I got you now Lupin" he exclaimed with a laugh. Fujiko gave Pops a look and told him he needed a bath.  
  
The chick confessed she wanted her 'lover' quick. While Jigen and Pops became visibly sick.  
  
More rapid than eagles a plot came to Lupin's mind On how to rob the place and get out of this bind.  
  
"I like bondage, so I'll have to tie you up." When Jigen heard his partner he began to up chuck  
  
Once Fujiko's hands were bound to the top of the wall, When Lupin was done she was strung up like an S&M doll.  
  
Then Jigen saw Lupin's ingenious scheme And knocked Pops out to let off some steam.  
  
So up to the safe the duo flew With a big full laugh and handcuff keys too.  
  
Then in a twinkling they busted through Cracked the safe that was brand new  
  
They spoke not a word but went straight to their work Filled all their bags full then turned to run to Fujiko and gloat and smirk.  
  
"Poor you don't you know, Jigen told "He was messing with ya, ya big whoe!"  
  
Together they sprang to the car, to Fujiko Lupin gave whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.  
  
But Fujiko heard them exclaim after Pops sat up and muttered "Oh Chirst." "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good heist!"  
  
~hey whats up Lil kai here! and I just wanna give a big shout out to my girl Kitten for making this poem up for me and Kitaka You Rock Girl! so everyone should go read her Fics......READ THEM I TELL YOU!!!!.........lmfao! please read and review ja ne! 


	10. Death By Sauna

Kitaka: Kenichiwa poor.poor readers.that will actually take time to read this pathetic fic.do you really have that much time on your hands!? I feel bad for you.honestly!!  
  
Lupin: *sobbing* but you kissed Jigen...*starts crying out loud*  
  
Jigen: Oh, take a chill pill man.it was no big deal.right Kitaka!?  
  
Kitaka: uhm.*hears Lupin whining louder in the background* sure!  
  
Inu Yasha: Just get over it man!  
  
Pietro: yeah man.  
  
Inu Yasha: bitch! You stole my voice!!!  
  
Kitaka, Lupin, and Jigen: *mouths agape in amazement* how in hell!?  
  
Kitaka: .and cat ears!?  
  
Inu Yasha: cat ears!? CAT EARS!? *whips out Tetsuseiga*  
  
Kitaka: uhm.anyways.on with the fic!!! Before someone gets hurt!...wait.hehe! :P  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
"Ha! I have got you now Lupin!" Zenigata once again proclaimed as he locked the door to the sauna that Lupin, Kitaka, Jigen, Kai, and Goemon had been lounging in.  
  
"Oh c'mon pops." Lupin pulled on the door handle incessantly until he finally gave up. Hearing Zenigata's victorious song, he sunk down in defeat. Somehow, on accident, as Zenigata was dancing outside the door, he switched the hear control knob from medium, to hot.  
  
"Is it getting hot in here; or is it just me!?" Lupin questioned, a little less stressed.  
  
"It is just you Lupin." Kitaka sated seductively. Lupin let out a laugh, completely unique to his persona, then cuddled up to Kitaka.  
  
"Oh, this is fucking sickening!" Jigen complained, placing a hand over Kai's eyes. "Lets just find a way to get out of here, before well.I think you know what I mean!"  
  
"We are all gonna die!" Kai screamed.  
  
"No! Don't let me die! Please!" Lupin yelled. By now, he was panicking and banging on the door. "I don't want to die a virgin!" the sound of the entire group laughing (excluding Lupin) eluded the room.  
  
"Lupin, I must say, this is something that I did not expect!" Goemon stated, then began laughing, harder and harder, until he was rolling on the floor. Suddenly Lupin spotted Kai carving something into the wall with her nails. Lupin pounced on her, and read aloud what Kai's imprint revealed.  
  
"Arsène Lupin III is a VIRGIN!" What he said finally struck him. "DAMNIT KAI!" He looked at Kitaka. "Hey Kitaka-chan."  
  
"I must transcend this." Goemon stated, struck with fear.  
  
"Lupin! Stop thinking with your fucking pants! Especially not in front of Kai!!" Jigen scolded, disgusted with his partner's actions. "Do that outside.far.far away from me!"  
  
Lupin and Kitaka looked at each other puzzled, then plopped back onto the bench, disappointed. (S/n: mainly Lupin, for the most part ^_^)  
  
"Damn! I guess I am going to die a virgin." Lupin slouched down even further. "Jigen; you always spoil my fun!"  
  
~~ "Well, now that we are all together; how 'bout you tell us about that heist, Kitaka!?" Jigen spoke up.  
  
"The treasure that we are after is that of the Twelve Skulls Of Atlantis." Kitaka informed.  
  
"Isn't the city of Atlantis well.lost!?" Jigen gave Kitaka a strange look. "And why some old rotten skulls!?"  
  
"You are correct to an extent. Atlantis WAS lost. The Untied State's government found it over 100 years ago, but soon denied any idea of having found out, in fear that the entire place would be ripped off by thieves."  
  
"I take it you know where it is then." Goemon inferred.  
  
"Yes. To answer Jigen's question, these are not rotten old skulls.not in the least bit. These twelve skulls are made of Quartz crystal. A crystal said to come from the very pits of hell. Though it is ancient, and for the most part, unknown, these skulls do hold some spiritual meaning. Supposedly the skulls are a form of communication telling what the past was. The mystery behind the skulls is how exactly could a primitive human shape the crystal. It is nearly impossible to do so in modern time."  
  
"Spiritual meaning...Err! I don't do spiritual meaning!" Lupin admitted, seeing the millions of homicidal humming birds all over again. "NO!"  
  
"Oh, just think of it Lupin; twelve skulls, each at least ten inches tall. " Kitaka urged.  
  
"Err, fine! You talked me into it; but I wont enjoy it!"  
  
~~ "They're right in there!" They heard Zenigata announce from the opposing side of the door.  
  
"Well; looks like pops is here." Jigen stated the obvious.  
  
Soon Zenigata had all five criminals cuffed, and tied onto a chain, that he dragged them around with like dogs.  
  
"Pops, when will you learn!?" Lupin questioned.  
  
"Learn.wha!? Zenigata looked back.  
  
"Never trust a good thief." Kitaka paused. "With a hair pin." She threw Zenigata five pair of hand cuffs, the chain, and the bobby pin she had brought with them.  
  
"There is only one thing to do now." Kai stated. She walked behind Zenigata who was still in shock. "WEDGIE!!!"  
  
"You know, you don't give her enough credit." Lupin admitted to Kitaka.  
  
"'Eh, she is pretty good sometimes." Kitaka admired Kai's adolescence, then turned to Lupin "And so are you." She kissed him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Inu Yasha: Eh.cheesy, but I like your writing.for the most part..  
  
Lupin: *in dream state* hehe!  
  
Jigen: how pathetic!  
  
Kitaka: yeah yeah.  
  
Lupin: *Still in dream state*.hmmm, I like Sesshoutsu's writing  
  
Pietro: ya.  
  
Inu Yasha: sht!  
  
Pietro: buh..  
  
Inu Yasha: sht!  
  
Kitaka, Lupin, and Jigen: ?????*confused* is Inu Yasha arguing with himself!?@_@  
  
Goemon: *walks into room* hey.why am I never in the intro, or the uh..outro!?  
  
Kitaka: uhm..  
  
Kitaka, Lupin, and Jigen: *run away*  
  
**somehow Inu, and Goemon get into a sward fight**  
  
Inu Yasha: Tetsuseiga will dominate that pathetic excuse for a sward.  
  
Scooby Doo: RUT ROW!!!  
  
Sesshoutsu: don't worry, it frightens me too!!! Everything that comes out of my twisted mind does.. 


End file.
